He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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