Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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