They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
