i permit you to call me
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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