sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I think I just sharted jello shots
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
