Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
