They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
vagina is talking i cant
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize