You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize