I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
