I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
