I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
