Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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