So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
