We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
