We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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