They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
