I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
