So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
