Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
