I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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