I can't breathe out the right side of my face
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
