So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
