why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
