we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize