if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
