she was so not down for the gang bang
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize