ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
