singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She needs sedatives and a leash
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
