doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize