Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
