I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
sarcasm needs its own font
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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