Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Four minutes until I can fart!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
