I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
