You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
