just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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