ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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