why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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