i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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