I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
