Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize