of course. lets lasso hookers.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
