Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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