You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
