we made out on top of his cat.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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