Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
