No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize