I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
