How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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