Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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