My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You ate ashes out of my bong
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
