Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
