just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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