Dual....:-)
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
