oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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