Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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