I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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