I haven't been this sober since birth.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
