Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You can't just leave with hair like that
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
