You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
