just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
