I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
