That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
