Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
love makes seman taste better
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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