woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
