from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
