The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
