hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
