How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize