When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize