3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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