there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
