I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
