direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
