i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
