so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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