Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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